What happened??

I was doing so so good! Then I kinda fell off the wagon!! Ever since Christmas Eve I have been eating all day long!? Well at least it seems that way. My scale says I have gained 5lbs in two days. I don't think that's really possible but I know I have gained a few for sure! I feel really blah!! Ever since I stopped working I feel lazy and unmotivated. I worked out 4 days last week they were closed m-w this week but i couldn't motivate myself enough to go yesterday or today!! I really need to get going again I have a cruise coming up in feb I need to lose more weight before then. I know I'm far from done with what I have planned for my future. I will pick myself up dust myself off and get right back on!! No doubt about that!!

We all have the power to override our choices

I know that I have never been this strong for this long and it feels amazing! I truly feel like I can finally win this battle once and for all. I love the respect and admiration you get from people (mostly family) for the will power to control yourself and to stick to goals you set! Especially when you have been morbidly obese for so long. (And unfortunately still are) You don't have to tell anyone you don't have self control it's all over your body. There is no hiding behind a shelter. There is no shield to protect you. It's out there for everyone to see. But........ When that all changes and your body changes they can see that to. For once in a long, long time they start to believe in you again. Trust in you. Have faith in you. Someone today paid me one of the biggest compliments I've had in a long time. My sister in law asked her daughter in law if she had seen I was there she said what's left of her! Man does that sound good or what?? Every single person has the ability to do what I have done. I have been all over the scale for the last 34 years and now I intend to change that one and for all!

I did it!!

I now weigh 100lbs less then my highest weight!! That makes 70lbs this year! I haven't been at this weight for probably 20 years?? I really wanted to be under 199 but that didn't happen I need to lose another 30lbs for that to happen!! I hope that I get at least close to that before our cruise? If I can stick to this new diet there's a much better chance. I lost 7 lbs in 7 days. But you do have to give up a lot. I plan on sticking to it at least until fri it's hard to stop doing something when you get these kind of results! We were only going to do it 7 days which ended Monday but I'm still sticking to it! Maybe I can stick with it till Christmas eve!? We will see!!??

Happy anniversary

Today is our 34th anniversary and I couldn't be happier. Well I would be even happier if I weighed 100 lbs less I would be about what I was 34 years ago. I am very happy with how far I have come
but we always look at how far we still have to go! Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get there. I defiantly feel more confident then I ever have before so I guess only time will tell? I know most of the time I feel like I'm going to do it but then I think about how far I have to go. I wonder if I'm strong enough it's going to take so long! Everyday that I make sacrifices I think 1 meal isn't going to change anything. It seems sometimes like a worthless attempt. I know it's not cause I keep doing it but somedays are harder then others. As I'm writing this I'm wondering how this started out as a positive entry and turned into this? I guess I've been thinking about it. Why can't I just be happy and thankful for how far I have come?? I have been on a losing streak lately because me and my sister derided to try something for 7 days. She saw a lady on a talk show and she mentioned it to me and I said let's do it for 1 week. We cut out dairy, eggs, sugar , gluten, peanuts, bread, corn! It doesn't sound like much left right? I swear that's why I lost so much weight!? It has been a little tough! But I'm living proof it works I have been eating a lot of salads. And more fruit. It's so much healthier anyways. I plan on trying to continue for a little longer then 7 days? We will see. I have had coffee with no cream. Just Splenda. That is a little hard getting used to. But I did it!! It would be nice to be 100lbs less then my highest weight by the end if the year. I really wanted it to be 100lbs this year and under 200. But that didn't happen. Either way I'm happy!

Happy wife happy life!

Truer words were never spoken! Lets face it we set the tone. Set the mood. For how our day is going to go. How our trip will be. I feel so much better about myself I have so much more energy. I worked out for the very first time ever on vacay!! And that was the 6th day in a row I worked out too. I'm just a much happier person which made our trip that much better. We had a very nice but way to short. trip! It feels good to be truly living life again.

Happy birthday to me!!

I'm so very thankful I get to spend another year with my family!! Everyone is happy and in a good place right now! I am so blessed!! God has been so good to me! I know without him I wouldn't be where I am today!! It's so good to wake up on your birthday and feel good about yourself! I have accomplished so much this year. More then I even imagined!! Still not 100% in love with what I see in the mirror but I no longer hate what I see either. I know now I will finally one day get to where I have always dreamed of being!! God is my strength and my shield! He has already won the battle for me!! Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice!!

I'm getting ready to celebrate my birthday!

I am so thankful for where I am right now! It feels so good to be in a much better place mentally and physically. For once in a very long time I'm excited about another year!! Today was Kenzie's 5yr bday party and I had to prepare so food for it. It felt so good to have the energy to do what I needed to do!! I was finished early and I wasn't tired! And after it was over I wasn't tired either and my feet didn't hurt! Let me repeat that. My feet didn't hurt not even in the least!! Amazing! Incredible! Outstanding!! I love it!! I'm giving all the glory to God!! He is the only reason I am where I am!! And I am so very thankful!!

I made it through another big holiday!

I survived Thanksgiving!  I made it through a holiday without a gain!?  The question is did I?  My scale says I'm up 2lbs. But.... When I went to go workout today the scale said I was the same or maybe .5lbs lower. I'm gonna go with the dr type scale and not my 30$ digital one!  Especially since I'm sure it's a much better scale and I didn't gain!  I guess I did ok. I know I still ate more then I should have but I wasn't uncomfortable so I'd consider that a good thing I didn't stuff myself to the gills!  I think for now until after the beginning of next year I'm going to leave Mfp as a maintain and not lose calorie intake!?  I still want to lose more weight so I'm hoping I will. But I want to give myself the option to enjoy what I want If I want it!?


I started this last week but never finished it. I did change my calories! Haha

Happy Friday!!??

It would be much nicer if I didn't have to work on Saturday but I did have yesterday off!! I will be spending next week all day with my granddaughter. Her mom has been off work for the last 6 weeks and she is going back to work on Monday. I said I would keep her to help her save the money she would have to spend on daycare. I'm only working Monday and Tuesday next week and she can come with me. My hours are only 10-3. So it makes for a pretty short day! She's always good for me so it's no problem. Not much going on on the pool business this time of year! Looking forward to thanksgiving?? Not sure yes and no! I know I will do fine! And I plan to work out everyday so I know that will help!

So super excited about our cruise coming up in February. I feel so good for once in my life I have achieved something I actually hoped for! It feels amazing!! I really love my life right now. I feel good. I'm no longer on diabetes meds. I have new much smaller clothes. My daughter and granddaughter live with us and I get to spend almost everyday with them. My oldest daughter is going to have a baby in May. My son has a new good job! And I will be celebrating our 34th anniversary in dec! Love, love, love it!

So I'm just putting this out there!

Lately I have been thinking about all the attention I will and have been getting since I've lost weight. I catch my self and wonder am I doing this for all the right reasons? I think how nice it will be to not be the fattest person in my family. I'm talking about my extended family. In laws and such. I am still the fattest person in my immediate family!! So why is it that I want the attention for doing something that I need to do for my health?? It's not for more attention?? Is it?? I think about what people will say who haven't seen me in a long time! I imagine they will say wow!! I also think about how it will make someone in my family feel who also needs to lose a lot of weight? Will it make me feel good?? Will it make me feel bad for them?? Should I even be thinking about this stuff?? I haven't talked to anyone about this. It sounds selfish to me to even think about this stuff?? Well that is what going on in my brain. So like I said I'm just putting it out there.

A good week ended with a bad night! Ugh!

I don't know what my problem was last night I wanted to eat anything and everything! I recorded most of it but I'm sure I was way over by more calories then I had down. I guess I was bored I watched 4 episodes of criminal minds and ate a lot!! But it's ok because it's not something I do very often so I can live with one off day! I probably would have eaten even more then I did. I actually did retain some restraint. Sometimes when I think I've eaten a lot I break it all down and realize even when I do go overboard it's never ever like it was in the past. So...... I'm still good! And I know for a fact that today will be a better day because I have proven it to myself that I am not the same! I am about 102 lbs away from my goal weight. Which is almost 100 lbs less then I was at my highest weight and that feels really good!! When I get down to the 199sss I will be on cloud 199!! Haha! I'm gonna get there I have never been surer of that in my life! Oh happy day!! I could actually live with the way I feel right now....... But I won't I have a goal and by golly for once in my life I'm gonna get there and then I will never again be where I am today!! I have decided to join curves again. I was a member in 2005 to 2007. Before I joined curves I had already lost 45 lbs after I joined curves I lost another 40lbs. Then I started gaining weight even while I was going there! But..... Drum roll please!! I am happy to say that I now weigh the lowest weight I got down to so I will lose lose lose more!! Yay!!

TGIF

I'm looking forward to the weekend. Nothing really planed day trip on sat! With the hubby and daughter and granddaughter!! It's always nice to get away just for the day!! It's supposed to be nice this weekend. I guess the last hooray! Haha. Physical therapy is helping so much I'm glad I'm going! I only have 5 more weeks left till I get off for winter! Yay!!

Eating = check

work outs 3x = check

Feeling better= check

It's all good!

I did it!

Today is a good day I finally hit my 60.2# weight loss and worked out 2 days in a row AND drum roll please did not eat any candy for over 24 hrs!! Ta da! Now I will go for 48! And so on! I know I can do I've gone weeks without candy before! I got this!

Physical therapy!

I have been having problems with my neck for some time now. In the last month it has gotten worse. I decided to go see my husbands ortho to have him check it out. He couldn't find anything by looking at the X-rays. He said I could try physical therapy and go back to him in a month! I started physical therapy the same day. They had an opening at a place close to my work. I went again today and it really seems to be helping already!! That makes me so happy!! I have been trying to get back on track ever since I was off after my husband had surgery I have been eating Halloween candy everyday!! Not a lot but still I shouldn't be eating it at all!! TODAY I WILL NOT EAT ONE SINGLE PEICE OF HALLOWEEN CANDY AT ALL!!!! Does that sound convincing?? I hope so cause now that it's out there I have to!!! (Not do it that is)) I am .8# more then my lowest weight so I'm good!! I am going to a week trial at curves to see if its something I want to do again. I had joined back in 05 when I had lost a lot of weight but stopped going in 07 when I had hernia surgery. I want to make sure it won't hurt my neck before I join!? I went yesterday and it didn't seem to bother me! Yay! I haven't walked in a while my knee has still been bothering me lately and it's getting really cold now! I need to do something because I have to start toning up since I have lost almost 60#. Luckily since I have lost it slowly I don't seem to have an excessive amount of lose skin! Thank God! And I know working out will help me get to my goal even faster!! I'm gonna get there there is no doubt in my mind!!


So today at work one of my bosses said that he has noticed that I have been shrinking every time he sees me I look smaller!! Finally!! I was beginning to wonder if these people were blind! Haha. I think sometimes I want people to notice and to say something. I don't know why I care about that it shouldn't be my motive to lose weight!! I'm still a work in progress I guess I always will be!......

Love this book!!

Check out this healthy tip! Had to post it!

Sat at work!

I'm catching up on my reading. I started a book the beginning of oct. it's called Healthy Choices for Women 100 days of Devotions for Mind, Body, and Spirit! I got behind last week cause I was home a lot but I just read something I thought was worth sharing! Physical Health is a choice: it is the result of HUNDREDS of small decisions that we make everyday of our lives. If we make decisions that promote good health, our bodies respond. But if we fall into bad habits and undisciplined lifestyles, we suffer tragic consequences! So what that says to me is even if we make one or two or even 10 mistakes in a day that won't ruin things for us! It's the 90 other things we do right! So don't let our mistakes define us! Don't let that be our excuse to keep messing up. We didn't get this way overnight and we won't change our brains that quickly either it's going to take years of retraining! I'm up for the challenge! I'm learning as I go! So far so good!!

Where am I now??

I'm kind of in a weird place right now. I have spent a lot of time at home lately. My hubby had knee surgery last week and I was home with him wed and thurs. I worked fri but was off sat thru wed cause if the Frankenstorm! Crazy! But luckily we were spared without any damage. So....... At home bored snacking and snacking why?? I have no idea? Maybe because everyone I live with are big snackers!! My husband is the worst and he doesn't have a weight problem!! And the equates to..... I now weigh 2# more then I did yesterday it said 4. Today 2! Am I worried? Upset? Surprised? Nope! Not at all. I'm just taking it 1 day at a time! I'm so very thankful for how well I've done and I know I will never ever ever go back to how I was! I am finally positive of that! I can finally be secure in the fact that I now know how to eat right. And I now have a new life be because of it! So even when I overeat a little then I don't go crazy! And I don't give myself permission to indulge all day long AND I have no problem waking up the next day and getting right back on track! I do however want to lose more weight before my cruise in feb. would I still love to lose another 40# before the end of the year. If I don't that's ok too!! For now I'm good and I'm happy!

They say slow and steady wins the race!?

I'm still in the race!?  I'm still in the race!?  Me?? I'm still running.  It does seem to be slower then I would prefer but I think I'm OK with that??  But........ sometimes I'm not!  I want to get this blubber off faster.
I know I know I didn't get this way overnight!  But I'm still in the race.  That's so unlike the old me!  Is part of me afraid I won't once again finish the race?  I have tried so many times before and haven't even stayed in it this long.  So that must be a good thing right?  Does a leopard change its spots?  I don't know I hope so?  I'm getting ready to leave work so I will have to continue this later.

Well we will see.......................................


Just saw that this is my 100th post! Yay!

I am changing my thinking!

I have decided to put my relationship with food on the back burner. Food you will no longer be my best friend!! I will not turn to you when I'm down or when I'm happy!! You are no longer an award for my achievements. You will no longer be what I think about in the morning. You will no longer be the last thing I do at night! You will strictly be on a need to live basis. I need you to live. But I will no longer live for you!! I have replaced you with something much stronger then you, more loving then you, more forgiving then you!! I have replaced you with God! The one who loves me, who takes care of me, the one who gave me life! He is who I will turn to for all my joy, my sorrow, my pain, my inadequacies. So don't think that I will change my mind and go back to you! There's a new Sheriff in town and your history!!!! I needed to get that out there so there's no more questions!! It's done! I have taken back my life and I intend to keep it this time!

I want to live like there's no tomorrow!

I'm constantly quoting songs but its what speaks to my heart on the way to work! Love it! Live it! Here is my song for today!

Hold on
Is this really the life I'm living?
Cause I don't feel like I deserve it
Every day that I wake, every breath that I take you've given
So right here, right now
While the sun is shining down

I wanna live like there's no tomorrow
Love like I'm on borrowed time
It's good to be alive, yeah

Hold on
If the life that we've been given
Is made beautiful in the living
And the joy that we get brings joy to the heart of the giver
Then right here, right now
This is the song I'm singing out

I wanna live like there's no tomorrow
Love like I'm on borrowed time
It's good to be alive
[X2]

I won't take it for granted
I won't waste another second
All I want is to give you
A life well lived, to say "thank you"

I wanna live like there's no tomorrow
Love like I'm on borrowed time
It's good to be, it's good to be alive

I wanna live like there's no tomorrow
Love like I'm on borrowed time
It's good to be alive

I won't take it for granted
I won't waste another second
All I want is to give you
A life well lived, to say "thank you"

Today I'm thanking and praising The Lord for doing what he has done for me and the extra time I will have with my family. AND my new grand baby that's on the way! Yay!!!

Hungry day??

For some reason I have been hungry today. I'm sure it's because it's so slow at work and idle hands want to eat!! Luckily I managed to eat low calorie stuff and still came in under my target! I know the only way I'm going to reach my goal of 100# list this year is to exercise way more! Unfortunately I haven't been motivated to do that since I haven't been able to walk because of my knee. So now I have lost the desire to do so! I did go for a walk today at work. I thought about going again when I got home but I needed to run a few errands after work and picked up some dinner. When I finished dinner it was already 8 and really dark and probably pretty cool also!? After I get off tomorrow I have a bible study class won't be home till 8:30-9 so tomorrow is out too!! I don't know why I can't be happy with how far I have come?? Why do I need to put extra pressure on myself?? It's like my head want to sabotage my heart? I am going to have to work on that! Take it one day at a time! Today was a good day I will take that and be happy!

Today is the day!

Not sure what that means but it's what popped on my head! It's a song I hear on the radio. Today is the day You have made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
Today is the day You have made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
And I won`t worry about tomorrow
I`m trusting in what You say
Today is the day.

That's how I feel I didn't do too well yesterday. And of course the scale reflected that today but I'm not going to beat myself up in just going to so better today! I changed my fitness pal again. I started out at 2# per week changed it to 1.5#. And now I'm back to 2#. So I was way over yesterday after I changed! I'm on a mission and the only way to get there is to buckle down! So here I go!

2012 Graves Mountain Apple Festival

We had a great time yesterday. It was a nice day! Lots and lots of walking!!

I would love to be under 200# by the end of 2012!

What and amazing year it would be if I could do that! I already have been very successful this year much better then most almost 60 lbs since April. I have been convincing myself that there is no rush. No reason to push your self harder then you have to. You didn't get this way overnight so...... But.... Now I know for sure I'm going on the cruise in feb and it would be soooooooooo awesome to be under 200 lbs I need to lose another 41 lbs that doesn't seem realistic does it?? I lost the first 50 in four months and I'm finally on a roll again. My appetite has decreased significantly. I started walking again last week but then my knee started bothering me and haven't been able to walk this week. I'm so excited to be where I am right now mentally, physically and spiritually. I'm just going to see how it goes. Every other time in my life that I have wanted to lose a lot of weight for I was never very successful. This time I have actually done it!! Living and loving life again! :)

I am so excited today!!

I have finally worked my way through my second plateau. I have lost more weight this week then I have in the last month!! I am so glad I have stuck it out this long! What a awesome feeling knowing that I can and have changed my life for good!!?? The other day my husband actually told me he doesn't think I will ever go back to the way I was!! That meant a lot to me! I don't ever want to go back to that. I know that I would have never been able to do this without Gods help. I'm not strong enough on my own!!

I will do this!

I was thinking yesterday about how I have done so many things different this time! So many things I never did the last time. I know that I learn more stuff every journey I take. One thing I have never done that I want to do this time. I want to buy smaller pants and have to buy more smaller pants!! Uh what?? Yea every other time I have lost weight and bought smaller pants I get comfortable in my new size and don't end up losing more weight. This time I want to grow out of the two new pants I bought but the right way this I want them to be too big for me too!! I'm still very motivated and I'm going to do it!! My cruise is back on for feb and I have a feeling even tho I would have preferred the reason not be my dad got stomach cancer be the reason I didn't go. I am glad we didn't go because I will be a lot smaller then I would have been this feb!! So I'm really on a mission!!

I have been doing this for longer then I ever have!

I realized yesterday I have been at this for 6 months. That I a record for me. Usually by now I would have taken the "break". Because I lost 50 lbs. I deserve a break!! Well I didn't let that stop me. I have slowed down and I have only lost 55lbs. I say only!! That's crazy. Why do I continue to sell myself short?? That's a lot of weight. I would prefer it be more at this point. I have to be satisfied with how far I've come the fact that I'm still going. Counting my calories everyday. I really believe dare I believe?? Yes I believe I'm actually going to do it this time. Do you have any idea how it feels to put on a pair of jeans that I couldn't wear 6 months ago and by the end of the day if I wasn't wearing a belt they would be in the floor?? It feels amazing! Life is amazing thru these rose colored glasses. But really I feel like I'm living again. Everything is so much easier. I'm happy I still have a very long way to go but at least I have a pretty good head start on my journey to destination healthy!!

I'm A ok!

Not a lot going on I'm still doing my thing. I have only lost a few lbs this month. I haven't been walking much lately but plan on starting that up agin. I know it's the only way I can continue to lose the weight I need to! This is where it gets though. When I start to feel so much better about myself. About me life. I'm able to do things I haven't been able to do in so long. I'm less then 10#s from the lowest I've been in 7 years!! I start to slip maybe don't pay as close attention to ALL my calories!! Well not this time I'm not going back. I finally trust myself. Even when I slip and even when I slide. I'm still tracking. I'm still watching. I'm not letting go. I won't lose control. The battle is already won! I just have just stay on the road. I'm doing it!! I have to!!!

How long does it take?

Me and hubby went to our most favorite Chinese restaurant for dinner!! I was so excited. It is hands down one of the best Chinese restaurants in the world!! Ok well I haven't been around the world but I have been across quite a bit of the u.s. so the waiter basically fixed our plates. I ate a spring roll first. My brain still thinks I can eat as much as I used to! But if course I can't nor do I want to! I added some white rice which I could hardly eat any of it. (The white rice). I should not have ordered a spring roll because I can't eat that much any more but I still don't realize it. I get full so much faster then I used to!! I'm finally feeling so much more confidant of how I'm going to finish this journey eventually. I'm not in a rush. I'm taking it one day at a time. Every time I eat more then I should I think ok here it comes tomorrow I won't be able to do it again. In the past I would slack off for a day and then it turned into 2 days. And so on!! Next thing you know 20#. But this time I'm different!! But everyday I am motivated I get right back on track. Some days are harder then others but over all I have to say this has been the easiest 54 # I have ever lost!! Just wondering how long it takes for my brain to catch up with my stomach?? Loving and finally living life again!

I got the most amazing news today!!!

I am beyond excited!! I had my 3 month check up yesterday. I am a type 2 diabetic. I was diagnosed in 2005 I am on oral medication. 2 or 3 years ago I had to increase my meds because my diet was not good which caused my level to go way up. Anyways so the good news is they called me today and said my blood test was so good they told me to stop taking my meds and check my sugar for the next week 2x a day and if all stays good I'm done!! Hallelujah Praise the Lord!! I was shocked!! Changing my diet and losing 54 lbs has changed my life!! And it's only going to get better and better!!

I'm here! Still here!

There has been a lot going on for the past few weeks! Birthdays, Kenzie had to have dental surgery and finally the trip to the mountains!! It was so good to get away! I have still been counting calories I haven't walked for 2 weeks! I really need to get back into that for sure! I have only lost 2 lbs in the past 2 weeks but at least I'm still at it! I have had so many medical test in the last few months as well as 2 different biopsy's so far everything is good! I am going to keep on going and make things different this time!

I finally did it!

I have officially lost my first 50 lbs. I said all along I was not going to reward myself with food! Well guess what? That night I got Popeyes chicken for dinner I had been wanting some for awhile. My husband had a choice between that or taco bell and he choose that! I was glad boy did I over do it! I still counted all the calories. And the icing on the cake was I had a piece of cake!! My middle daughters birthday was on wed and my oldest daughters birthday was on thurs. tomorrow we are having a party for them!! Chicken fried steak, gravy mashed potatoes, Mac & cheese, corn cole slaw, macaroni salad! So much food I'm not going to go crazy but I will
allow myself to splurge. I will not give up I will keep on fighting the losing fight.

Here today here tomorrow

I am still here. I have continued to control every morsel of food I put in my body. Even the samples they give you at warehouse stores!! I for the most part, have been able to stay under my calorie goals. I have not been losing weight as fast as I would like to but I have decided that as long as I can control my eating I will succeed. That is my ultimate goal to get to a reasonable weight. Something I haven't done for over 20 years. I am already starting to do so much more then I used to. I have more energy and stamina then before. I love it. I really feel like I can do this forever. I am changing the way I live my life......

Had a really great weekend!!

We were able to spend time with all of our kids on Saturday. Not all at the same time but at least we spent time with all of them. We went to breakfast with our girls. Then we took Kenzie clothes shopping. After that we came home cause my hubby wanted to get home to watch football!! I watched some tv. Took a nap because I woke up so early and went for the walk which was nice. I walked for an hour. Most of my breakfast was burned off before I even ate. That was nice. After my nap we went to pick up some fast food. I got a burger since I still had lots of calories. I ate a few of my husbands fries. I am satisfied with a small amount. Then me and my husband and son and his fiancé played wii! It was a lot of fun. I didn't go to bed till 2a.m. And had to wake up early to go to church. Tonight hubby and I played some more wii and i did a little of the wii dance. All in all a good weekend!! Love my family. It feels good to be active for a change.

I love my new life. The new me!!
We are going to the mountains in 3 weeks want to do more walking so I will be ready for some hikes when we go!!

Saturday

It's 7:30 a.m. I'm getting ready to go
for a walk. The only place I used to walk to at this time of the morning was the bathroom. Who is this person who wakes up after only being asleep for 5hrs to go for a walk?? I really don't know I have never in my life met her. I think I like her though. I hope she finally gets to the place she wants to be? Who knows where that is? Its been so long since she has been there. I don't think she even remembers where that place was? What it felt like? I think I'm going to go for that walk now I'm getting sad thinking about how she could have been here so long ago. How she has wasted so much of her life not being strong enough to get there. Even if she does she can't get all the time back that she missed............... The tears are coming down throat has a huge lump hard to swallow. I guess it's time to go.

The weekend again!

I can't believe it's Friday already I'm feeling pretty good. I am still doing good if I can keep it going for another month or so I will be so much more confident in my ability to continue to my target weight!! That will be so awesome. I can not wait for the day. I do know that when I get there it's not over. I will always have to be on too of my food intake. I will never be able to fully relax ever again. I don't ever want to be where I was!! Love being in control. Today I still have over 400 calories left and I'm done eating. I know it's not good to eat to few calories but I didn't want to eat my whole dinner!! I got full off my coffee. I'm hoping to get some exercise this weekend!!

I am do close!!

I'm almost there!! Almost lost my first 50 lbs. I am very happy about that. It has not been easy but I made it this far. I want to keep on going until I hit my goal. I have never been close to my goal for 20 something years. I have so far to go to get there but I can't focus on where I have to go I have to focus on how far I have come. I want to get there so bad. I will get there. I know I will I just have to keep pushing through. Victory will be mine!!

I don't know what my problem has been lately. I guess all the bad news and bad stuff that has been going on lately I just haven't really felt like writing much. I have been trying to at least say something. Life is just very depressing right now! I'll get over it.

I'm still hanging in there

I was struggling the last few days I have had a very difficult week. Part of me wanted to let go. Thank God it was only a small part of me. I have a mission and I intend to complete that mission. It is hard sometimes people around me that need to lose weight are not continuing to stick with it. I helps when you have support and encouragement. Oh well they don't have nearly as much weight to lose as I have to. Even if they were going strong they would be done losing their weight way before I am even going to be close. I guess I for this fat on my own I have to lose it all on my own too.........

I feel hungry today

Last night for the first time in a while I went over my calories. It wasn't that much and usually when I walk I have more calories that I can consume buy u didn't walk last night! I could have gone way, way over but I was able to refrain from doing so. Thank God!! So today I'm bored at work and want to eat more but so far I'm hanging tight.

I had a horrible night last night. Or I guess I should say horrible early morning hours. My husband who works for a trucking company that delivers lumber has drivers that work for him and last night one if the drivers lost control of the truck and hit a wall and the truck exploded and the driver was killed. His boss called him at 3 a.m. To let him know. I was awake with him and it felt like someone punched me in the gut.

Then today I found out the owner of the company I work for has terminal lung cancer.

Sometimes life seems unfair.

Looking back

So I was flipping through my weight journal and I just realized I am right now at the lowest weight since the last 4 years. I think it's really the last 7 years because that was the last time I lost a lot of weight. Didn't start weight journal till 2008. I am 9 lbs lower then the lowest weight in my journal. That's amazing!! In the next month or so I will weigh less than I did 7 years ago. I can not wait till I get 1) below the less than 100 lbs to lose. Don't have any idea when the last time I got there. 2) under 200 lbs pretty sure I have not seen that for 20 something years!! That will be so awesome!! I will get there I can feel it.

I am free to live!

I am so excited I just added it up and I am only 14lbs away from what I was the last time I lost a bunch of weight back in 2005. That's so awesome. It feels so good! I feel so confidant too like I know I'm going to get that 14lbs off and keep at it. In the past I would have been thinking when I hit the 50 lb loss which should be In a week or so I would be taking a break. Not this time I'm so motivated!! I am doing things I never ever have done before.

So I am free!!

All aboard!

I finally got my daughter back on board.  She started yesterday.  I hope that it sticks this time she started myfitnesspal back in May when I did and she didn't  last very long.  I have been unfortunately been giving her a hard time lately about her late night snacking. I know she is an adult but its hard watching you children make the same mistakes that you did.  Well she started again yesterday.  I want us to be a better example to her daughter.  So she doesn't have to go through this also.  I had to drag her out for a walk last night.  She said she wasn't feeling well but I finally convinced her to walk with me.  She was glad she did afterwards she thanked me even though she wanted to punch me before we left. We only went for a short walk  but it was better then nothing.  I am 3 1/2 months in to this I have lost 47 lbs so far I have to much more energy its incredible.  I love it!! 

I want to eat something

I am trying not to eat any snacks after dinner. I have been doing pretty good lately. But tonight I really want a snack but luckily due to my super human strength. Hahaha I will resist!! I'm not giving in to temptation! And boy does it feel good!! It's not that I don't still have plenty of calories. I do but I know eating late at night is what helped get me here already. So for tonight I fought the food and I WON! Yay! It has taken me all if my adult life 32 years of battling my weight to finally be a winner at this losing game! Ding ding ding!!! I'm getting it done.

What a crazy out of the ordinary weekend!

Lets see where to begin.  I have learned so much lately.  I am working on trusting myself with how far I have come, that maybe just maybe, I am different this time?  Dare I say it out loud?  That means that this has to happen right??  I have learned that if I am doing everything in my power to stay on my plan and I have stomach issues that won't allow me to expel my weight loss. I will not let the scale control me.  I can not control mother nature.  I can however control what goes into my mouth and how much exercise I get.  So guess what scale you don't own me! Just like the food does not own me anymore.  It's my turn I'm taking my life back!!  I have been beating myself up lately because of all the abuse I have done to my body.  I can't go back and change things but I can change my future.

Friday was ok I did have a pity party for myself and invited my husband to join in, much to his dismay.  I have been going to the drs a lot lately and had so many tests.  So far all good. Thank God!  I guess I got my feelings hurt because I felt like my husband and my two daughters should have asked me if I had got any results from the last test I had done.. No one asked about it?  I felt like they take me for granted everyone is so wrapped in there own problems no one seems to care about mine! 

Saturday I actually went on the metro to go to DC with my daughters and granddaughter.  My husnband was helping his brother with something sothe girls and I planned a day outing.  I would have never, ever, did I say ever? wanted to go anywhere that required much walking.  I was felt pretty confident since I have been going walking almost everyday.  It felt so good to be able to enjoy that with my girls.  We had a good time.  My granddaughter wanted to be carried a lot so we took turns and even though she only weighs about 32lbs it was still hard and it was hot outside so that made it worse.  I can really tell a big difference in my energy level and being able to walk and not get so tired.  It was getting late and we had not eaten for  about 5 hours so we started looking for a place to eat.  We found a hole in the wall was probably not the best food choice I should have eaten but I ordered a steak and cheese and fries.  I gave half of the sub to my daughter and ate a few fries.  I knew I could have splurged if I wanted to we ended up walking for at least 4.5 hours that day.  I am learning not to over induldge when I feel I have deserved it.  what kind of reward is that?  Its the kind that got me to pack on at one point in time 200 lbs more then I should have.  I am greatful to say......... I am now only 125lbs more then I should be.  It feels weird to say that only 125......... that is still so much to think about losing!  I need to focus on how far I have come and not so much how far I still need to go.  That can be rather overwhelming.  So after we dropped off my oldest daughter we headed home.  When we were about 1 mile from home we almost got into a very serious accident.  A sherriff's car made a u turn right in front of us I had to slam on my breaks and swerve to the other lane to avoid hitting him.  It was such a close call.  How scarey.  Thank God for taking over the wheel cause I could have lost control of the car also.  We made it home safe, shook up, and thankful. 

Sunday went to church.  My sunday school teacher was out of town and I volenteered to take over the class but..... the only person in the class was me and hubby.  Someone else showed up later but I was praising God just being able to be there and not in the hospital or even worse.....
I found out last week someone I care about deeply in our church was diagnosed with inoperable stage 4 cancer I am devastated to hear about that.  So what does all this add up to?  A complete and utter breakdown.  I unloaded on my sister.  I told her how it was unfair about the cancer.  My dad is still recovering slowly from his stomach cancer surgery in April.  I told her how I felt taken for granted.  I told her all the regrets I have for the time I've lost in my lifetime because of my unhealthy relationship with food.  It all spilled out.  It overflowed and it felt great.  I had a pit in my stomach most of the day and it was finally gone. 

Monday I am loving my life.  I am a few pounds away from losing the first 50lbs and guess what?  No breaks are planned no celebratory meal.  JUST 50LBS CLOSER TO MY GOAL. AAAAAAAHHHHHH!

I'm feeling better everyday

I love how losing weight makes me feel..... I love how the pants I'm wearing that I could not have fit into a few months ago are already getting loose.  I love that I'm starting to feel my knee bones.  I love how my quadruple chins are down to double.  I like how when I lay on my back I can still breath.  I love how my stomach feels so much better when I lay down flat. 

So why have I done this so many times before and over and over and over again??  I really don't understand why I don't want to keep going?  There is no reason not to.  It's not like any food there is tastes as good as how it feels to be getting smaller everyday.  The energy it gives you not to haul around all the extra lbs.  Why is it when the scale doesn't reflect how good I'm doing do it let it define how I feel?  How can a number mean so much?  Why cant it just be enough knowing how you feel and how you are making good choices??  I told my husband that even though I am doing so well right now and being so strong I'm afraid in a month from now or two months from now I will lose my focus and give up?


I am going to keep giving it everything I have this time to continue to lose all this weight once and for all.  But I also know it won't be over then.  I will have to continue to watch everything I eat forever!!

I'm ok with that!

I am struggling today

I'm doing EVERYTHING right but the scale isn't cooperating.  I'm frustrated but not giving up.  Guess I will see how the rest of the week is goes?

Monday

I'm doing ok today not to busy at work so I find myself wanting to eat. I don't know why boredom causes me to want to eat? I'm thankful I'm still in a good place that even when I want to snack I keep a good amount of healthy and/or low calorie snacks to keep me in line. I am now starting on my 4th month of tracking all my daily calories. This is most definitely a record for me if I can keep this up for 6 months then I know I've turned a corner. One in the right direction for a change. Life is so much sweeter when food is just fuel and not a reward or comfort. I'm reading a book and I have learned some very interesting things. Things I have never given a lot if thought to.

God is my support, my wisdom, my control and deliverer. He is with me he will get me to the end and he has so many great things in store for me when I get to where he needs me to be.

Thank you Jesus for loving incomplete people!

Coming along way but.........

So I am still going strong and making good choices. I am thrilled about the weight I have lost 44lbs now since April. I feel so much better for sure. I don't think I realize how much better it feels when I move around. Just getting off the couch is a struggle some days when you weigh almost 300lbs. But not anymore. Last week I carried my granddaughter up the stairs she only weighs 35lbs it was much easier then it used to be but I thought wow! This is how much I used to carry up everyday and more! That felt good!!! So here is the but...... When I walk by a mirror and see my profile my stomach is still so big!! I know it has gone down sooooo much since I started but when I see that, it's like I haven't even begun. I know it's going to take so much more time to get where I want to, need to be. I WILL get there. Now on the other hand..... Because with me the glass is always half full. I do like the way I look from the front view. Or should I say as I told my husband a few weeks ago. I'm not loving what I see in the mirror but I don't hate it either!! That's an accomplishment. Yesterday my husband said wow you are really moving your seat up much closer the you used to. He reminded me that I used to complain when I got in after him that he had my seat up so close. He said now when he gets in he has to move it back. Hehe!! So many things are changing on my body I can feel my knee bone sticking out more which I love. I have for so many years have has such fat knees and legs. That's the worst. Well I'm getting somewhere. I just need to keep it going. Can't wait to see all the many more changes my body will keep making. I absolutely LOVE it. It actually feels go to be me.........

I had a major crisis at steak and shake yesterday. On the way there I was looking up calories of their menu items. I had kind of narrowed it down as to what I would order. (I do this before we go anywhere to eat) I think planning ahead helps to make good choices. So anyways. I got in there and threw all caution to the wind and saw a skillet breakfast. It had portabello mushrooms eggs cheese hash browns so I
went for it. Then she said what would you like with it? Toast, bagel, PANCAKES?? So even tho pancakes are not a huge thing for me I ordered them. I figured I could use sugar free syrup. Anyways after the waitress leaves I look up the calories and it says 1040 calories. Omg! I started to have a complete panic attack!! Just the night before I had been thinking about that. I don't think I could ever even If I allowed myself. Even if God told me they wouldn't count, even if I had run 10 miles would I ever eat a 2000 calorie meal. Not even 1000 calories. So here I was ordering a 1040 calorie breakfast plus pancakes. What was I thinking. Who was that person who ordered that meal without even checking first?? Not me! Not the new me! So in a panic mode when the waitress stopped by to bring more coffee I asked her if it were to late to change my order?? After a few times going back and forth she assured me it wasn't a problem if u changed it. Thank God! So I ordered something with only 330 calories whew. Crisis averted!! YES!!

McDonalds stinks!

I ordered large coffee with 3 cream and 4 Splenda ( I used to get 5 creams and 5 Splenda). But now that I know 1 of those little creamers is 20 calories I cut back. Well I got BLACK coffee yuck. I put some Splenda in it and drank half of it. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

And that's the new me..................

I'm living and loving life again! I haven't had the best 2 weeks kind of at a stand still I did however lose 2.4 lbs finally. I could understand if I was eating too many calories but I have been tracking every single bite! Literally!! Anyways I'm going to keep going strong I have a mission........

The people you hate

You know those people you hate that? The ones that can open a bag of chips and only eat a few! Well guess what that's me!!!! Yep hate me please! Haha. I have done that. Yes I have done it more then once too! Because I count every single calorie I put in my mouth I am very careful. I bought a new Pringles can on tues franks red hot. So yummy. I have eaten a total of 13 chips. I ate 7 the first time 3 the next time and 3 again today on my way home. They have 10 calories per chip. So I'm careful. Well anyways I just wanted to put that out there..........

I am redeemed!

I am set free! That is my new motto I found a song that has set me free.


Songwriters: COWART, BENJI / WEAVER, MICHAEL

Seems like all I can see was the struggle
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past
Bound up in shackles of all my failures
Wondering how long is this gonna last
Then You look at this prisoner and say to me "son
Stop fighting a fight that's already been won"


I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off theses heavy chains
Wipe away every stain now I'm not who I used to be
I am redeemed

All my life I have been called unworthy
Named by the voice of my shame and regret
But when I hear You whisper, "Child lift up your head"
I remember oh God, You're not done with me yet

I don't have to be the old man inside of me
Cause his day is long dead and gone
I've got a new name, a new life I'm not the same
And a hope that will carry me home

God is with me every step of the way he is not only right beside me he is a few steps in front of me. I know now and am confident that I will get through this I truly feel it in my heart. I can't keep worrying about the ghost in my past..........

The faces I want to forget

Well really I never want to forget what I have done to myself. But what I have accomplished and what I will continue to accomplish.

I'm holding on strong

I was disappointed again today when I got on the scale and the lb I dropped again was back plus .4. So did I get discouraged yes!! Will it change any thing about how I will eat no!! No mater what that scale says everyday I will not let that be an excuse to give up I am determined to push through this day after day!! Week after week. Month after month. I'm gonna win! This fight once and for all! And when I do I'm going to help so many other people do this too! But I will not take any of the credit I will give all the Glory to the Lord!! The one that has always been there for me the one that's getting me through this step by step.

So I started thinking about people who have not said a word to me about the 42lbs I've lost since April. I feel like so they not see or do they just not care? Or am I so fat that fat is fat is fat?? Ok so I'm just less fat! Why do I care If they care?? Is it going to change anything? Am I doing it for them? Why do I feel like I need recognition? So I'm not going to let that define me anymore.................

Today is another day!

It's a wonderful day when you have accomplished your goals! Resist temptation!! That is a struggle daily. I have been able to do it pretty consistently for 3 whole months now. I know everyday I'm doing things I have never ever done before. I have convinced myself that this time is different. I have been questioning myself will it be different this time?
Will I succeed? Will I finally for once in my life since I got married do what I need to do to get to the goal??? The answer is absolutely YES!! Why? Because this time I'm not going to lean on my own devices I'm really truly giving it all to God! And he not me will get all the glory!!

Trying to press on!

I am doing really good with my eating still and I have also started walking too! So why did I only lose 1 lb this week?? And then on Monday morning it was right back!! I know and am truly confidant that I did not gain a lb!! I have been keeping track of all my calories with my fitness pal!! I'm obsessed with it!! I'm even getting pretty annoying!! I keep telling my husband how many calories everything he eats and he doesn't need to lose weight so......... Yea annoying!! So I'm so confident that with Gods help gong to do this!!

Had a wonderful day!

Me and hubby and our two daughters spent the day together! We took a drive to Harpers Ferry, WV. Had a great time we walked around downtown they have a lot of civil war museums. We walked and walked and walked. I didn't get tired at all!!! I'm carrying around 42 less then I was a few months ago. It's so amazing to be able to spend time with my family having fun enjoying life again. It feels awesome. Pretty sure it's been at least 7 years since I was at this weight. I want to continue getting my life back once and for all.

Enjoying life again!

I'm feeling so good right now so strong!! Hope to keep up this feeling!! I know with Gods help I will overcome!! I got up early this morning and walked for almost an hour!! We went out to eat 2x today and I still only at 700 cals for both meals!! Amazing grace!!

We can run but we can't hide! (well some of us can run)

We are a walking billboard for our addiction!! There are so many people out there with problems way worse then ours but theirs doesn't show! Everyday we walk by people that maybe beat their family, addicted to porn, are child molesters, rob people, kill people,you get the picture! They can hide from their addictions most people besides their victims will never know? It's not written all over them like ours is. All over our chubby faces, our big thighs, it's everywhere, people know our addiction. They think we are weak, lazy, out if control! Eat all
the time. I don't want to be one of those people anymore. I want to be strong and energetic. I want to run and hide if I want to.

I was not an overweight child I want to find out where I turned the corner to obesity...... If I can find that out I can hopefully solve the mystery and get my life back. The one I was meant to live. The one without regrets. The one without limitations.

Yummy dinner

I'm eating a really good dinner I had to put it out there! I made triple health English muffin pizzas and I also tried the thin round multigrain bread. I put marinara,low fat mozzarella, turkey pepperoni, banana peppers, lean ham, marinated mushrooms and for all 4 it was only 445 calories delish!!

No more excuses

I have been going strong for 3.5 months now!  Feeling pretty good I am down 38lbs since then.  I am still motivated.  The secret this time is My Fitness Pal app on my phone.  It keeps me constantly aware of all of my calories.  I try to plan ahead before we go out to eat (which we still do a lot)) but I make much better choices.  This is about the time where I usually struggle.  At about the 3 month mark I start to get tired of keeping track of everything that is going in my mouth..  But guess what so far I don't feel like that as a matter of fact I'm addicted to counting calories..  Its crazy!  But its my life right now, today right this second.  Can I keep it up?? I don't know I sure hope so!  For once in my life I want to do this go all the way, cross the finish line, go the distance..........

Good healthy lunch!

I'm feeling so good today! I feel good with where I'm going on this latest journey!! I love when I am in control what happens to make me lose that feeling of accomplishment? Why do I give up? How can I hold on to this? This time what can I do different so I don't have to lose the same weight I lost a few times before? WHY???? I'm going to do my very best this time to find that out!! Let's do this!!

I'm proud!

I did 2 things I haven't ever done before today!
1 I went for a walk while everyone was
still sleeping. ( I never walk)

2 I went to Red Robin and got a burger without a bun and salad instead of fries!! I usually get the buffalo clucks and fries which are about 2000 calories I found out today!! Wow!! Didn't know!! Didn't care!
I do now! Thanks my fitness pal!!

Here's what I have learned today!

First of all I would like to give praises to God!! With his help and grace everything went better then I expected with the colonoscopy!!! Thank you Jesus!! Everything looked good!! I do however have to go back next week for an endoscopy.

So I have been very successful on my current journey of weight loss. I was thinking why hasn't God answered my prayers before when I asked him to help me with this? I didn't want to do things the hard way!!! I wanted a miracle. I wanted overnight success. I wanted to go to bed morbidly obese and wake up perfectly skinny!! I know that God is mighty I know he can do anything so why not this!? I now understand that he is right here with me everyday every step of the way leading me, encouraging me. What would I possibly learn with an overnight miracle?! Absolutely nothing!! I know he has been so patiently waiting for me to open the door and let him in to lead me on my path to my final destination HEALTHY!!

Thank you Lord for loving me the same fat or skinny. Near to you or far away! You love me all the same!

Colonoscopy test day! YUCK

I know this isn't something people normally discuss, but since I really don't have any followers that are still with me it's no big deal! I treat it as my diary. Do I wish there were people following me? Sure! Do I blame them for not sticking around? Heck no!'. Anyways I had to only have liquid for the last 24 hrs! Did it kill me? No!! The only reason it didn't us because food right now today, this week, hopefully this month? Is not in control of me!! I now control food!! Food is not the most important thing in my life today!! Will that last!? I hope so with God's help!! I want him to control me!! So in the last 24 hrs I have had 2 ginger-ales, I sprite (btw not diet). I have pretty much cut sodas out of my life completely diet ones too! 3 sugar free jello's, a couple cups of beef broth and a cup of chicken broth a coffee and ice tea!! Oh yea some pretty nasty stuff I had to drink to clear out my system!! That of course was the worst part. The liter I had to drink last night was bad and I thought for sure I was going to throw up!! I had to wake up at 4 a.m to drink more!! I thought there is no way I'm going to be able to do that!! So after 3 hrs of sleep I first prayed!! And I managed to get thru it!! Thank you Jesus!!! Couldn't have done it without you!! So I'm going to leave now just wanted to say how mighty and powerful our wonderful Lord is today and everyday!!

Amen!

The hand I was dealt?

It's early in the morning I'm thinking about how perfect it was! The wedding that is!! It was so beautiful!! I danced my butt off too!! Had a blast! Must have looked like a complete fool!! Haha That's ok, I can live with that! I was thinking at least I lost some weight before the wedding. Not a whole lot about 30 lbs!
I was thinking I looked pretty good. I was ok with what I saw in the mirror but then you see the pictures!! No! Not reality!! Don't like that so much. I tell myself oh well that was the hand you were dealt! WHAT!! I dealt myself that hand. No one gave that to me. I ate that hand. The whole deck as a matter of fact! WHY?? I don't know but I'm on a mission to find out! If I can unlock that door maybe I can find myself? Let myself out!? Let me be free of these chains. This 150 lb chain that I have been carrying with me all these years. One heavy link at a time. Piece by piece. Link by link. I'm afraid to say it. This one last time. How many times have I told myself that? How many times have I told my family that?? Too many to count. It was a lie. Every single time. I have the pounds to prove it!! The pounds don't lie. They laugh at me. Challenge me. Say yea right we will see? So this is the mystery I'm going to unlock.

Where am I at today!

I'm still in a good place have lost more weight! I keep thinking I'm going to go back to my old patterns!? Can I take this ride all the way to the exit?? Why have I never been able to do it before?? What is my problem that I don't feel I'm worth or it's worth the effort?? I feel so good when I'm controlling food! Why so I let it start controlling me again? I need to reflect back see where I went wrong. See where I can change! I'm at such a loss right now I feel helpless!! I'm so broken!! I'm going to continue to reflect on things monitor my self more closely! See what I can do different this time!??

Company's coming to town!!

My family is on their way here from Texas!! Yay!! Can't wait to see everyone!! My dad is recovering from stomach cancer! He is doing better he had surgery in April and ended up in the hospital for 5 1/2 weeks. Poor thing as of now though he is cancer free!! Yippee!!

I'm a little worried about the weekend eating tho. With the rehearsal dinner and the wedding not sure how that is going to work out? I don't really trust myself. I have a pattern you see. When I go off my diet I get carried away you see!! My dr said to just take it 1 day at a time! Maybe If I don't say those words "taking a break" yea that doesn't work for me!

Well I guess I will find out soon enough if I'm cut out for this thing this time...........

I'm back!!

Today I feel better!!

      Ok so a lot has been going on!  Up down, up down!  I had not realized how far up I was, because my scale said 283-286.  When I went to the Dr's in March his scale said 297! whoops! Wow!! Shocker!! I had no idea I was creeping that close to 300 again!! How could it be??  Was it because I ate whatever I wanted?  Was it because the first time in 61/2 years I thought it was ok to drink real sodas again?!  Either way I was out of control.  I had stopped checking my blood sugar.  I had stopped taking half of my meds!  I don't know what happened to me why do I go so far off the deep end??  I had wanted to lose weight before my daughters wedding which is Sat by the way!!  I had absolutely NO motivation.  What did I tell my Dr?  I don't know what happened to me I had gained 15 lbs the 3 months before I went to see him and here I was another 15lbs!!

So, I decided to first of all before I went back to the Drs I knew I needed to get under some control!! I decided the first thing was to cut out soda!! So I did!! diet ones too!!  In thinking about that now I probably weighed more then 300 before I did that I just didn't have a good scale!!  Then I started cutting back on snacking and eating to much sugary stuff. I tried to cut back on my intake of everything..  I was doing pretty good!  On my scale I was down about 10lbs.  Then one day I lost 20lbs then 2days later I gained 10lbs!!  So do you get where I'm going here?? Yep it was time to invest in a new scale!!  Well that wasn't fun either It was 6lbs more then the highest number on my old scale so now I have gained 16lbs!!What the H***!!!

On Mon. April 30th a customer came in to my store and I noticed he had lost a significant amount of weight I asked him what his secret was even though I was a little afraid it was because he was ill??   No,  it was because he had started using the my fitness pal app on his iPhone!!  I had joined that a long time ago but was never consistent!  Go figure!!  Any ways he also told me his wife who had more to lose then him had been using it for a year and had already lost 100lbs!!  Wow!! that's for me.. 

It has been 50 days and the good news is I went back to my Dr today and I have lost 26lbs!!! YAY me!! I am still about 8lbs away form my lowest weight in 2010,  But I'm getting there!!  I have to admit I am scared tho. 

I talked to my Dr about that today he told me just take it one day at a time!!  Who knows maybe this time................

Wish me luck!

Where has the time gone?

I am up on my weight and I have lost some already but I am not motivated. I'm going to get re-motivated!!!! I'm going to start using the my fitness app. We will see how it goes!