Every day is a new Day!

It has been such a long time since I have been on here.  What's been going on?  I have been hanging in there!  I am about 8 lbs up right now and I have re dedicated myself to this on going battle.  I have new motivation now.  # 1 my wonderful parents are taking me and my hubby on a cruise in Feb.  I don't want to be the fat girl who's embarrassed to be in public in a bathing suite.  I want to enjoy my first cruise.  I want it to be the best experience ever!  I want to blend in with everyone else.  I have to admit that I am very afraid of the loose skin issue but I can't let that stop me.  #2 my daughter who will be 30 and in June of 2012 she will be getting married!  My first out of 3 children to finally get married.  I can't wait!  I know the pictures will be around forever and I want to look good not be the fat Mom!  The other day I was telling my granddaughter that something was wide and she said it's fat like you granma!  I really wasn't upset with her she is only 3.  I did tell her that some people would get their feelings hurt if she said that to them.  I am secure with who I am and what I am FAT!  I'm OK with that but I do want to look and feel better!  So the reason I am getting back into this is because I want to eat right now some really cheese nachos with jalapenos but I decided I would write instead!  I need to find other things to do besides eat!  Well its getting late now and I guess I will go to bed!

Wish me luck!?

I'm in my groove!

I have had a good week with my eating!  I have to say I am very proud of myself!  I have soooooooooo much energy!  I'ts amazing!  I love it!  I have been cleaning a lot!  I'ts  awesome!

It's been a long long time. But I'm back!

I am back in full swing of things back to work full time.  A lot has been going on since I last blogged.  Some good some not so good at all.  But with the Grace and Mercy of God everyone is ok.  Just some trials that we all go through.  I will survive.  The good news is even though I have been tested lately I have been able to....... wait for it ......... wait for it! I have for the very first time in my entire adult life have managed to maintain!!!!  Yes I said it I have MAINTAINED all my weight loss!  WOW!  I am very proud of my self.  I helps me to think that maybe I have changed?  Maybe this time I will be once and for all able to lose all my weight and maintain it??  We shall see?  I do however have some new motivation my daughter Michelle will be getting married on Sat June 16th 2012.  I would be so awesome to lose 100 lbs by then??  I know I can do it if I put my mind to it.  It really feels good to get motivated again and not have to start from a higher weight for a change.  I started doing the low carb again 2 weeks ago I do great on the weekdays not so great on the weekends.  I end up losing about 4 lbs during the week then gain almost all of it back on the weekends.  Its not like I'm going hog wild or something.  You would think I would at least maintain the wight loss on the weekend.?!  Well I'm just going to have to be much tougher on the weekends too!   I want to be the HOT mother of the bride at her wedding! HAHAHAHAHA!   Well I guess this is good for now.  I will be getting back to posting more frequently I really think it helps.

Not such a great weekend!

It was the 5th anniversary of the death of our 27 year old nephew.  We had a celebration day!  We miss him but we are very thankful for the time we had with him!  He had a brain tumor that he didn't survive.  His wife asked me to speak at the cemetery we all got together and let off some balloons to honor him and his life!  Later that night we had a party at his Mothers house.  There was lots of food and I ate way too much!  I'm pretty sure I gained like 4 lbs this weekend!  Will have to get that off really quick!  Leaving for Texas on Thurs AM.  Don't want to pack those 4 lbs with me also!  Not off to a great start tho!  I was bored last night and made choc chip cookies!  So I ate 2 this morning.  Going to have to get those out of here quick!
Well gotta get busy much to do to get ready for the trip!

I have been in hibernation!

I have been off work since Dec 13th.  I am taking care of my granddaughter for the winter.  Her and her mother are living with us right now since her and her boyfriend split up.  It is nice having them here but not always easy.  I don't really get online much so that's why I haven't blogged.  I haven't been trying to hard to lose weight lately but have managed to maintain the wight i lost before.  I am happy for the first time ever I got through Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years with out a gain!  I went to the Dr for a check up the 2 days before Thanksgiving and went back on Jan 24 I was up 2lbs that day but I'm gonna blame that on my heavy boots! HAHA!  On my scale it said I had lost a few lbs but oh well I was happy and so was my Dr.  I am on medication for my diabetes and had been missing my morning doses since I'm not working anymore I forget.  But my blood sugar levels are great!!!!  I hope when I go back to the Dr in March I can lower my dose?

We will be going to Texas on Thurs February 10th looking  forward to seeing my family again! YAY!  We are really crazy but we are driving!  We like to hit the open road.  We are taking our grandbaby also.  So I probably wont be posting much till I go back to work on March 1st

??

I'm doing pretty good with my eating this week.  I say pretty good because last night was family dinner night and I made homemade fried chicken!  And mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, squash casserole!  It was all so yummy I had saved most of my calories for that meal but I still think I went over!  So I decided that I would start counting calories.  I have never really tried this method.  I did do weight watchers before but thats not counting calories either.  It makes it hard when most of the food I eat are things that I make and I don't cook low fat or low calorie stuff.  I need to learn how to eat the food I like but much smaller amounts.  I had done pretty good until like 7 weeks ago.  Then I lost my motivation??  But the good thing is I didn't gain more then I had lost.  I fluctuated between 4 & 5 # .  I have done really good this week though my goal was to get back down to my lowest weight so far and I am only .6 # away from that goal!  YAY me!  I have only exercised 1x so far but will do it again tonight and either Sat or Sun.  I have been drinking more water but not enough.  Will work on that too!

There is still a lot going on at home having a hard time dealing with some things trying to lean on the Lord!   Today though I feel like running away from home!  I don't know how much more I can take!  I guess I need to read my bible I'm sure that will help!

I

I,I, I, wow a lot about how I feel!  Who really cares how I feel?  Well I guess I do?  I have done really good so far!  I am proud of myself!  Even though things are pretty crazy around here I am making better choices.  I hope I continue that this weekend I have a wedding shower to go to and a pampered chef party.  Food Food and more food!!!  Oh my!   I can do this I have done this I will do this!  So far I have used the word I 17  19 times!  WOW!  So do we have to think about ourselves when we are trying to lose weight? You betcha!  We have to focus on what we need for once.  What we have to do for ourselves!  That is hard for me some of us to do!  We take care of others don't we?  Isn't that our job?  We let ourselves go because we are so worried about taking care of others.  Why???  Is it because we don't like ourselves?  So its easier to take care of others!  Maybe if we are forces to focus on us we cant handle it?  I thinking about most of my life except when I lost a lot of weight I didn't care about buying myself clothes because I didn't care how I looked.  I bought stuff for my kids but not me!  Well my kids are grown so whats my excuse now?  I missed out on a lot of things over my life time because I didn't have the desire or energy to do them.  I don't want to miss out on anything else.  I'm not getting any younger.  Today is the day now is the time I have to change things.  My granddaughter will be 3 in less then 2 weeks.  I had made up my mind I was going to lose weight before my grand-baby got here.  Did I do it yea about 20 #  big whoop!  I have a long way to go still.  Then when she lost her other Grandmother yea now I really need to do this I'm the only Grandma she has left.  Have I done it NO!  Why?  I don't know and that's what this blog is about finding out what my prior mistakes were.  How to fix them.  How to not keep making the same mistakes again.  Can I do it?  Will I do it?  I have never gone all the way!  I want to go all the way this time.