I'm falling into a deep dark hole! I need a rope!

      Ok so for the last two weeks I have been sinking!  Back into my old habits!  I have been overeating and have gained 6 lbs!  Oh my gosh!  Yes I said it!  It's out there!  I did not exercise at all last week because of aches and pains.  How ever I did get a lot of exercise this sat.  We went to the Graves Mountain apple festival and had such a great time!!  I really enjoyed spending time with my family!!  Especially my G-baby!  she's so cute and funny!  I could just go on an on about her!  But I will spare you! Ha Ha!  So I'm going to pick my self up and dust my self off and keep my eye on the prize!  Many more years with my family!

     Well this week I did go to Zumba on Monday night I couldn't give it all I had because my knee started hurting a little so I took it kinda easy!  But I told myself I was going no matter what!  Last night I did my weight lifting also.  I'm getting back on the exercise track now I have to get back on the eating right track!

Here is an e-mail I got from someone in my Sunday school class and I really liked it so here it is!

this is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! Make sure you read to the end!!!!!!

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Its estimated 93% won't forward this. If you are one of the 7% who will,
forward this with the title '7%'.

I'm in the 7%. Friends are the family that we choose. 

I'm sinking!

     I feel like I'm a little depressed!  I have been having lots of aches and pains.  I have been eating way more then I should.  Not like out of control or anything just more then I should.  I haven't been able to work out this week.  Everything hurts!  So I kinda feel like a failure.  I kept thinking on Sunday that the only person that told me I looked nice for or at the wedding was my husband.  I don't know why that even matters to me?  But apparently it does?  I took time making sure my hair looked good my makeup looked good!  But who really cares?  I'm still enormous.  I saw pictures of myself at the wedding and it doesn't look like Ive lost any weight at all!  Very depressing!!  It makes me feel like why bother?  I guess that's why I haven't been on here since Friday.  Feeling kind of bummed!  I don't want to give up I want to stay strong!  But the scale is going in the wrong direction.  Why do I keep doing this to myself?  Here I go again!  What is wrong with me?  Do I want to look like this for the rest of my life?  NO!  I don't want to see pictures of myself and cringe! (that was a draft I started on Tues.)

     I'm feeling better not so depressed and aches and pains are better.  I still haven't worked out don't want to hurt anything worse.  Going to take a few more days to recover.  Ive been busy this week at work and at home.  Still eating too much but I'm not going to give up.  I am going to keep my goals in mind.  I will not give up.

     I will refocus and get in control.  I will not let this get away from me this time!

Wow is it Friday already?

     Not that I'm complaining or anything! HAHA! Grand-baby spending the night again!  YAY!  Had family dinner night last night!  I went to bed thanking God for my wonderful children and g-baby!  I love them all so much!  But I ate too much!  And I weigh 1.6# higher this friday then last.  Not a good end to the week.  I know I did eat a little too much a couple of nights this week but I should have at least just maintained.  Not gained!  I didn't over do it that much.  I did lose some inches though so I'm happy about that! I am determined that I'm not going to give up!  Not this time no matter what setbacks I have I will keep chugging along!

I have a wedding to go to on Sat. not sure how I'm going to do there? It's going to be a pretty fancy wedding so the food should be really good!  Maybe I will go for a nice walk in the AM?

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Today I feel stronger!

     I think I got my mojo back!  I feel more motivated today!  I will do this! I know what I need to do and I will keep my eye on the prize!  Thank you ladies for your words of encouragement and support!  It really does help!  We can get each other through this will the support we each need! 

Thank you!

I Can Change!

     I was feeling like I was starting to lose some of my focus.  I know that this time I want to change everything about how I was!  How I ate!  The lack of activity.  The lack of motivation to live a healthier life.  I can change all those things.  The voice that says when you eat something you shouldn't, that you already blew it so why not pig out?  There's always tomorrow?  There is no rush you will lose it sometime??  Well  I'm trying to override that voice in my head.  I don't have to listen to it right?  I make a mistake, its not the end of the world, its not over.  I didn't ruin my whole journey.  Keep on track!  My life is improving everyday.  It will continue to improve if I keep focused on the light at the end of the tunnel!  I want to reach that light!  I want to bask in the glorious light at the end of that tunnel that Ive never seen!  I can't imagine how bright it will be.  How awesome it will be when I wake up in the morning and I'm in the light.  What will that feel like?  I will find out I can change!

     OK so here's the deal I ate too much dinner tonight.  I don't count calories.  I don't count points.  I just try at every meal to eat approximately half of the amount that I used to eat.  Is that working?  Does that work?  Yes it does!  So getting back to the dinner tonight.  My wonderful husband picked up dinner from the best Chinese restaurant in the world!  No, really!  Ive been around the world! HAHA!  Well practically!  My dad was in the Air Force for 20 years.  Well of course I just couldn't help it and I told my self I could indulge!  Was that right?  Probably not?  But the difference is I will not let it get me off my track!  This train is going to keep on chugging!!  I wont let that be an excuse to let me get off at the station to grab a snack!  NO!  I'm drinking Jasmine tea that they also gave us with the dinner.  I will fill myself with that and not be tempted to go crazy!  I am not that person any more.  I don't ever want to be that person anymore.  I want her to get off this train and never get back on! I am the conductor and the caboose!  I control all the compartments on my train!  Yea, I don't know where all that came from?  HAHA!  Bottom line is I am different!  I can change I've seen so many people do it I can too!

     I'm watching Biggest Loser!   I love that show!  I love it even more when I'm right there with them!  Trying to stay on the ranch.

Zumba X2

     Went to the second Zumba class tonight.  It was good!  I bought a 20x punch card so I'm committed!  I do really like it!  My knee was hurting tonight so I had to take it easy.  I was wondering today if I am ever going to get those steps down I did a little better tonight so I know it will take time.  I cant get discouraged and I have to be patient! 

     I kind of felt like I ate too much this weekend?  I just don't want to lose my ground!  I want to keep moving forward.  Keep my goals in mind.  Finish the race this time.  I have to stay strong.  Stay in control I cannot and will not lose my motivation!!!

I know everyday is a new day!  I will continue on my journey to my final destination! Healthy!  It's what I have to do for me!  For my family!

Weekend here we come!

     I love friday nights I get to have my granddaughter spend the night with us.  She is so awesome!   

     I seem to be having a little trouble on weekends I have been kind of yo yoing!  I need to stay focused on my portion control.  I don't want to spend the whole week trying to get off what I put on the weekend.  But I think since I have set my goals it will keep me more motivated!!

     Well one good thing is lately I spend more time thinking about the weight I want to lose and not what food I want to eat!  That's progress!?  I want my life to be the very best it can be the way God intended it to be.  I think the reason we do better when we blog is we are finding another way to relieve the stress, emotions, anger, unhappiness whatever it is that causes us to eat our feelings instead of deal with them.  I for once in my life can believe I will actually do it this time.  I will go all the way no matter what.  If it doesn't happen by the end of next August the thats ok too!  If your going to dream then dream big right?

     In case any of you are wondering how two weeks ago I said I lost 25# and now my weight ticker says 65.2 its because I at one time did weigh that much. (you will see that on my first blog)  I have lost 5 more in the past 2 weeks.

     I am wearing a pair of jeans today.  Ok your thinking so what?  Well I haven't been able to wear these jeans for at least 4-1/2 years.  They fit pretty good but I'm not used to wearing pants with buttons and zippers so it's kinda hurting my stomach a little! haha!  Their not to tight its just I'm not used to it!

My accomplishments this week:
Weigh 2# less then last friday
Did my strength training 3X
Went to Zumba on Monday
Did my Wii Just Dance for about 15 mins.


Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!  I know I will!  We are going for a drive to the mountains in the AM!  YAY!  I'm hoping that my daughter and G-Baby go als