Thursday, October 14, 2010

I'm sinking!

     I feel like I'm a little depressed!  I have been having lots of aches and pains.  I have been eating way more then I should.  Not like out of control or anything just more then I should.  I haven't been able to work out this week.  Everything hurts!  So I kinda feel like a failure.  I kept thinking on Sunday that the only person that told me I looked nice for or at the wedding was my husband.  I don't know why that even matters to me?  But apparently it does?  I took time making sure my hair looked good my makeup looked good!  But who really cares?  I'm still enormous.  I saw pictures of myself at the wedding and it doesn't look like Ive lost any weight at all!  Very depressing!!  It makes me feel like why bother?  I guess that's why I haven't been on here since Friday.  Feeling kind of bummed!  I don't want to give up I want to stay strong!  But the scale is going in the wrong direction.  Why do I keep doing this to myself?  Here I go again!  What is wrong with me?  Do I want to look like this for the rest of my life?  NO!  I don't want to see pictures of myself and cringe! (that was a draft I started on Tues.)

     I'm feeling better not so depressed and aches and pains are better.  I still haven't worked out don't want to hurt anything worse.  Going to take a few more days to recover.  Ive been busy this week at work and at home.  Still eating too much but I'm not going to give up.  I am going to keep my goals in mind.  I will not give up.

     I will refocus and get in control.  I will not let this get away from me this time!

3 comments:

  1. Bernice, thanks for your kind comment to my blog. It may have been a bit premature after my day yesterday but I'm certain now that we all have those kind of days ... no matter how good we're doing. Sometimes it just takes time to compute in our brains what we REALLY need to do. We can slow down but we can NEVER give up. You said everything hurts ... sounds like that includes your heart and your pysche. Are you feeling alone in all of this. Yeah, sometimes me too. It's funny how when our hubby's give us a compliment we kind of discount it ... but you did have someone tell you how nice you looked. You've worked at this with results, maybe not huge results but there is less of you and you'll get in the groove. Believe in what you want, Bernice. It will happen. When you were away, I should have written you. Always feel free to drop me a line. My email is in my sidebar.

    ~Sheilah

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  2. I wrote about feeling like a failure and it took a few friends to knock me upside the head and help me believe that I was not a failure. And neither are you. We all have days, sometimes weeks, where we're at less than our best. The best thing we can do is pick up and keep trying. Never give up. It's a journey. You'll make it. Just don't give up on yourself. Hugs!

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  3. Come out, come out ... wherever you are!

    ~Sheilah

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