I need to change FOREVER!

     So its Tuesday and I'm feeling kinda yucky today!  My tummy kinda hurts!  It was a pretty crazy weekend.  We had a birthday party for my 2 daughters and my nephew.  Talk about food!  I didn't do that well but I didn't do horrible either.  I ate way more then I should have!  But less then I would have in the past!  Didn't gain any weight on sat but Monday morning was up 2lbs.  Today I was back to where I was last week.  I have been back and forth with the same 4 or 5 lbs for the last 2 months!  What does that mean?  I'm getting nowhere!  So I decided I definitely need to make some major changes in my eating if I am going to get anywhere!! I am continuing to work out with weights but need to add some cardio also.  HELP!  Where do I begin?  Ive never really counted calories!  I did pretty well with low carb but I don't know which way to go?

What a Beautiful Day!

     It is such a beautiful day here in Virginia!  The sun is shining low humidity I'm loving it! And it's Friday!  So when do you get to the point where you get over the fact that if I blew my diet today I might as well go crazy?  I mean I already ate McDonald's for lunch 3 pc. chicken selects and med french fries.  So last night when I was getting the munchies why not? I've already eaten something bad today go for it!  What more can it hurt?  Well its this reason I've been battling my weight for 30 years!!!  So, did I cave?  Was I thinking of all the delicious stuff I could cram in my mouth before I went to bed?  NO!  I overcame the temptation! YAY!  I'm proud of myself!  But today is another day!  I was happy this mourning when I remeasured my self since last week I've lost several inches.  Me and hubby started working out together.  He of course doesn't need to lose an ounce!  But wants to do some exercise to get into better physical condition.  He's already in great shape!  So every day is a new day and brings much more challenges!  It's all about choices!  Will I make the right ones today? How about tomorrow? We shall see!

Wish me luck!

Another day in the neighborhood!

Yea I don't know where that came from? haha!  I want to pull my hair up in a pony tail and not cut off all the circulation to my brain!  Really my face turns really red like I cant breath!  Why do I keep doing this to my self?  Will I ever have enough motivation to go the distance?  I wonder that!  If you look at my past history I never have.  The longest I've ever been on a diet was probably 6 months!  Then of course the well deserved break and guess what here I am again!  What is wrong with me?  I hope to find that out with this new journey I'm on.

Wish me luck!

God please help me!

I have been struggling with my weight for most of my life!  I always thought if I ever lose all my weight then, then, I will never be fat again! haha! The most weight I lost was 85 lbs back in 2004! I said so many times I will never ever gain all this weight back!  Well I was right I didn't gain all of it back just 50 lbs or so!  I do give my self credit tho It was the very first time that I didn't gain it all back and more!  I think the only reason that is because in 2004 I found out I was diabetic so I don't use sugar any more for my coffee and tea and only drink diet soda!  Lately I have been trying to go back to where it all went wrong?  I thought maybe if I could figure out what happened I could fix it and then I would be thin forever????  Sounds good right?  Hmmmm?  Well either way I have to change my eating habits and do more exercise! I want to be healthy I want to shop at any store in the mall! I want to wear cute clothes! I want freedom from this bloated body! Freedom from food! I want to be in control!

Wow where do I begin?

So here I am the 100th give or take 100 times I've decided to change my life!  HaHa!  Hmmmm! Where have you heard that before?  Ok so where to begin?  I'm 48 the mother of 3 and 1 grandchild!  I've been married 31 years!  Will be 32 in December!  Yes do the math I was married very young!  Was not overweight as a child.  Well if you consider putting on weight soon after I got married when I was still a child! HaHa! I was dating my now husband since I was 14.  After we had been together 1 year my family moved to Texas I was devastated!  I thought I was overweight when I was in middle school but only weighed 113 lbs!  After I moved to Texas I started putting on some weight.  About 15 lbs.  When I got married I probably weighed 125 to 130.  Then I started to put on more weight my new husband worked nights and I was bored!  I would cook for him and we would eat dinner at 1, 2, 3 am?  Yea I know healthy huh?  We decided to start a family after we were married 1 year.  We had a very rocky relationship but we were young so?? I took me a year to get pregnant and I had tried to lose weight so when I got pregnant with our first baby I weighed 137.  I gained 45 lbs not horrible? Well by the time I left the hospital I had already lost 20 lbs great huh?  I never lost the other 25 and continued to gain by the time I got pregnant with my second baby I was up to 180's.  I gained 26 lbs with the second baby.  Then the 3rd time I started at 213.  My baby boy is now 22 yrs old and I now weigh 279.  Ok there it is I said it I weigh 279!  Over the last almost 30 years I have gained and lost probably 200 lbs. My highest weight was probably 330 lbs. The last time I lost a lot of weight I got down to 238.  For the very first time in my life I didn't gain all my weight back hallelujah! That was back in 2007. I have however as you can see gained alot of my weight back but not all!  I now really do once and for all!!!!!!!!!!!  Want to be healthy for me and my family!  I have missed out on so much by living inside this enormous balloon I have become!  I have recently lost 13 lbs again.  I lost the same 13lbs last year!  But this time I don't want to lose it again next year!  I need the love and support of my friends and family! 

Wish me luck!

Bernice