So much time has passed. So many things have changed.

So here I am July 5th 2016. It has been since December 2012. I was at my lowest weight in many many years. And where am I now?? Since then I have been all over the place. Today as of right now. I am 45lbs higher then what I was then. So I gained more then half of the weight I had lost. So much has happened I would give anything and everything if I could turn back time.  So where to start. In March 2013 my 1st grandson was stillborn. That was just the beginning of the never ending nightmare that is currently my life. In June of the same year 2013. My father lost his battle with cancer. In 2014 my husband had his first knee replacement. That went pretty well he was feeling much better on that side. He decided the following January 2015 to have the second knee done. That one was a little more difficult. In August we had to go to the hospital after a visit to the clinic referred us they though he had developed an infection in his knee. Sure enough he had. Pretty deviating news. After several hospital stays he ended up passing away in October 2015. I could not believe this had really happened!  So after he passed I went through a time where I ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and as much as I wanted. I really didn't care much about myself after that. Still don't really. I wished I had been the one gone. He was always in great shape. Very active. He I was about 150lbs overweight but he's the one gone!? What??? Why???  Fast forward  8-1/2 months later. I have decided that it's timeI start  doing something about how I feel. If I can't have my husband back the only thing I can control about my happiness about my destination is what I decide to do about it. At first I thought there is no way I can lose weight and be thin. That would betray my husband who loved me so. How could I be thin now?  Why couldn't I do it for him?  I have lost about 13 pounds in the last month and a half. I'm getting started on making better choices. I don't know where this will end. Right noemi can only take one day at a time. That's all I can do right now. 

What happened??

I was doing so so good! Then I kinda fell off the wagon!! Ever since Christmas Eve I have been eating all day long!? Well at least it seems that way. My scale says I have gained 5lbs in two days. I don't think that's really possible but I know I have gained a few for sure! I feel really blah!! Ever since I stopped working I feel lazy and unmotivated. I worked out 4 days last week they were closed m-w this week but i couldn't motivate myself enough to go yesterday or today!! I really need to get going again I have a cruise coming up in feb I need to lose more weight before then. I know I'm far from done with what I have planned for my future. I will pick myself up dust myself off and get right back on!! No doubt about that!!

We all have the power to override our choices

I know that I have never been this strong for this long and it feels amazing! I truly feel like I can finally win this battle once and for all. I love the respect and admiration you get from people (mostly family) for the will power to control yourself and to stick to goals you set! Especially when you have been morbidly obese for so long. (And unfortunately still are) You don't have to tell anyone you don't have self control it's all over your body. There is no hiding behind a shelter. There is no shield to protect you. It's out there for everyone to see. But........ When that all changes and your body changes they can see that to. For once in a long, long time they start to believe in you again. Trust in you. Have faith in you. Someone today paid me one of the biggest compliments I've had in a long time. My sister in law asked her daughter in law if she had seen I was there she said what's left of her! Man does that sound good or what?? Every single person has the ability to do what I have done. I have been all over the scale for the last 34 years and now I intend to change that one and for all!

I did it!!

I now weigh 100lbs less then my highest weight!! That makes 70lbs this year! I haven't been at this weight for probably 20 years?? I really wanted to be under 199 but that didn't happen I need to lose another 30lbs for that to happen!! I hope that I get at least close to that before our cruise? If I can stick to this new diet there's a much better chance. I lost 7 lbs in 7 days. But you do have to give up a lot. I plan on sticking to it at least until fri it's hard to stop doing something when you get these kind of results! We were only going to do it 7 days which ended Monday but I'm still sticking to it! Maybe I can stick with it till Christmas eve!? We will see!!??

Happy anniversary

Today is our 34th anniversary and I couldn't be happier. Well I would be even happier if I weighed 100 lbs less I would be about what I was 34 years ago. I am very happy with how far I have come
but we always look at how far we still have to go! Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get there. I defiantly feel more confident then I ever have before so I guess only time will tell? I know most of the time I feel like I'm going to do it but then I think about how far I have to go. I wonder if I'm strong enough it's going to take so long! Everyday that I make sacrifices I think 1 meal isn't going to change anything. It seems sometimes like a worthless attempt. I know it's not cause I keep doing it but somedays are harder then others. As I'm writing this I'm wondering how this started out as a positive entry and turned into this? I guess I've been thinking about it. Why can't I just be happy and thankful for how far I have come?? I have been on a losing streak lately because me and my sister derided to try something for 7 days. She saw a lady on a talk show and she mentioned it to me and I said let's do it for 1 week. We cut out dairy, eggs, sugar , gluten, peanuts, bread, corn! It doesn't sound like much left right? I swear that's why I lost so much weight!? It has been a little tough! But I'm living proof it works I have been eating a lot of salads. And more fruit. It's so much healthier anyways. I plan on trying to continue for a little longer then 7 days? We will see. I have had coffee with no cream. Just Splenda. That is a little hard getting used to. But I did it!! It would be nice to be 100lbs less then my highest weight by the end if the year. I really wanted it to be 100lbs this year and under 200. But that didn't happen. Either way I'm happy!

Happy wife happy life!

Truer words were never spoken! Lets face it we set the tone. Set the mood. For how our day is going to go. How our trip will be. I feel so much better about myself I have so much more energy. I worked out for the very first time ever on vacay!! And that was the 6th day in a row I worked out too. I'm just a much happier person which made our trip that much better. We had a very nice but way to short. trip! It feels good to be truly living life again.

Happy birthday to me!!

I'm so very thankful I get to spend another year with my family!! Everyone is happy and in a good place right now! I am so blessed!! God has been so good to me! I know without him I wouldn't be where I am today!! It's so good to wake up on your birthday and feel good about yourself! I have accomplished so much this year. More then I even imagined!! Still not 100% in love with what I see in the mirror but I no longer hate what I see either. I know now I will finally one day get to where I have always dreamed of being!! God is my strength and my shield! He has already won the battle for me!! Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice!!